Archive for the ‘Articles’ Category

New Fixities at 51

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New Fixities at 51(my thoughts on turning 51 today).

I was not waiting for this day. It suddenly came without a knock. But I have no regrets, at least it came. Many of my colleagues were not so lucky to get it.
And when it came I realised that I was a changed person. I was no longer fidgeted, the way I used to, some years back. I was no longer in a hurry. I am still able to achieve everything which I aim for, albeit at a slower pace. I am still able to lift my own bag and climb the stairs at the railway platform. I am no longer scared of lonliness as I used to be, some years back. Rather I have started loving it. I have realised that time, spent on contemplation and at times, in solitude, is also useful.

I have firmed my thoughts on many things. I do what I wish to do. I help whom I wish to help. I stay away from whom I wish to stay away. I have developed firm faith in God. Not that, this has lessened my faith in my own abilities.
I have realised that I can’t change others, especially those who do not wish to change. And I don’t endeavour to do so anymore.
I have realised, very few relations are without a purpose, hence I don’t take anyone for granted. I feel I must give every person his due.
I feel there are two ways in which you can repay someone for his work. One, in currency and other, in respect. In some cases both are required, in others, only one would do. I feel, the best way to show respect is to give respect in words and actions, and the worst way to show respect, is sychophancy. I am now clearly able to differentiate between true respect and sychophancy.
I feel, the worst way to show abhorrence is to shout at someone, the mature way is to go in silence. Silence is the most dexterous emotion. It can portray affection, respect , Indifference or even abhorrence.
When I look ahead, I feel one needs to befriend one person, and that is you and your body. Don’t abuse it ever. The common methods of abusing this friend is eating trash, not exercising, harbouring anger and over speeding your life. My aim for the next 10 years is to please my body and become it’s best friend.
I wish to thank all those who walked with me in these 5 decades and look forward to having you all by my side in the coming times.
Today, as always, on this day, I remember my late parents, who, without giving any sermons, left a treasure of virtues for me to emulate, in living my day to day life.images (7)


All Gods have a Day

All Gods have a Day



The population of the world today with over seven billion has seven major religions and over thirteen other known faiths who have their own Gods, practices and rituals. And all the believers  feel that they have their own God which as per each of them is  Almighty ,  Omnipresent,  Omnipotent and which is actually running the universe. No  religion accepts  that  the  God  of  other  religion  may  also be omnipotent, omnipresent and running  the universe. Consequent to this basic belief  there  are  thousands  of other minor  differences  in the  methods of  worship,  rituals  and plethora of  Do’s and Don’t’s which dictate to a  follower of a particular faith   the minutest of  the  things  like what  to  wear and  what to eat and what  not to  eat. All  these  differences over  a period of time led  the followers of  each  religion to dither  away from  each  other. As the  followers of  any faith  became  more  faithful to the practices of  their cult , the managers of  their respective faith   made them  abhor  the practices of  other faiths resulting in abysmally large chasm between different religions.


Seeing the state of  affairs  in  the  world of religion, One day, all God’s and deities   decide to descend  to earth together and  listen to  the  woes of their  devotees and to  dispel all the myths and  formalities which the humans have imposed  in the name of their religion.  Stung by sudden and unannounced appearance of the actual Gods of  their faith  amidst them   the Managers of the Faith  and some self-styled Godmen who have  been  running  the show  on their  behalf find themselves in an uncomfortable  state. The respective Gods take over  the  reigns of their religion immediately  and remove any intermediaries between them and their followers. They say  they  were  tired  of  watching from top the negative role being  played  by the  intermediaries(I would like to call them the  Managers   of the faith) who were  rampantly  spreading  undiluted venom  and hatred which  they  had  never  preached when they had founded their religion. The moment  they landed on  earth the Gods  head for  their respective holiest  places namely  the  Christ reached the Vatican, the Prophet Mohammad reached Mecca , Lord Vishnu reached   Kedarnath, Moses reached Jerusalem, Lord  Budha reached Bodh Gaya,  Guru Nanak reached Amritisar so on and so forth. There they were thronged with the people    of  their faith who wanted  to venerate  and  get blessed. However  the people in control ( the Managers) of these holiest  places found themselves being sidelined and losing relevance. They quickly made barriers  and told  the  Gods  that  “ because you have  come down  to mother earth  after  a long  time,   a lot has changed  in  your  absence  and  you  must  hear to our  briefings  before  you  meet  the  common man of  your  faith.  And  they also premonished  their  God, “God it is  our abounding  duty to caution you that the followers of other religions  have  been conspiring  against  our faith for  a  long period of  time in  your  absence. And though  we  have  been the  butt  of their ribbing ,   we  have  accepted all  that  with  great  devotion towards you” and we  also want to  add that, “ their  motive  was  to  completely  annihilate your religion from  this earth.”  And to add more  “The followers of other faiths  have also  said  so many things  personally  against you in  and your family members”.


The  Gods  smiled,  and seeing  their  God smile the  Managers of their faith  continued  their series of briefings unabated  till  evening of  the first day of Gods arrival on earth.  With each passing smile  from  God the Managers   got more encouragement  and unloaded tons  of  venom against  all other  religions  barring theirs. Unaware  that all Gods  were being  briefed  by their managers concurrently, each of  them individually thought that  they have conveyed and  convinced their respective  Gods firmly . In the  end each  of them wanted that their God should declare  an all out  war on  all  other  religions on earth and convert the complete population of earth  to  their  faith  or threaten them to face  dire consequences. But this was far from what  was actually supposed to happen.


After the  day of briefings were  over  in  their  respective  holiest places all Gods  were  shell-shocked  at  the quantum of hatred   among the  hearts of their Managers. When  the day was over they  meet  at  a pre-decided  common  place and  concluded  that  they  must travel for  over  a  month and  meet the  common  followers  of their  faiths and fathom the quantum of angst against members of other communities.


So  next morning they are  back in their  holiest  places and tell  the Managers  that they are  going to  travel and  that they must  not  be  accompanied  by  anyone. To  this  the  Managers  express  grave  concern citing  safety  and security  reasons but the   Gods are adamant and the Managers are left behind.. Heart of heart  the  Managers  are  feeling  paranoid  that the  common  followers  must not give  God  a  different picture from  what  they have  painted through their briefings. Next day the  Gods commence  their  journey  to  various  towns and  villages  where their common followers  throng in large  numbers to meet them. The Gods freely interact  with them. They ask them  their woes. Some  followers plead for  healing  from sickness , others  simply seek their blessings  for  flourishment of their work, others  want  their  families  to  be happy, yet  others  want peace of  mind and  some  want general prosperity. Gods find none of their followers  are  wanting annihilition  of  their neighbours of  other faith. The common  followers also  bring so many worldly gifts   to  present it  to their  Gods. The Gods  tell them  “ who  has told  you  that I get   pleased by  expensive  gifts and money? I have no dearth of  it so please do not indulge in it”. The followers  could not  understand  the situation. All  these years  they were  told to carry gifts  for God in return to fulfillment  of their  pleadings and here the  true God  was  denying  this  ritual. The God  cleared  their  dilemma  once and for all. The situation  on ground was totally different from  what the Managers had briefed them. In  fact  Gods  are surprised to  see  that  among  the  followers who have  come to greet  them  there are  a large  number of followers of other  faiths  also who have  come to pay  their obeisance along  with  their friends. Gods smile inwardly. Wherever they go, they are  welcomed by members of  all communities and  faiths in unison. The common man loves all Gods  and does not differentiate  whether he is  ‘my  God’ or the ‘God of my  neighbour’. Common man even celebrates the religious  festivals  of each other  with greetings  and  fervor and are very  accommodating.  Soon all Gods  realize that there  is  abundance of brotherhood still  left  in the hearts of  every person and  their common  followers  are  still following their preachings with faith and humility. Its only that  they  are  being steered  in the  wrong  direction.   After  showering their blessing on everyone whom they  meet  they return back to their  Holiest  places and  call the Managers.

The Managers  are  now  apprehensive as  to  what  impressions  have  the God  carried from  their  sojourn.  After  they get a  cold stare from their God they sheepishly ask, “What are  the  orders for us, God?”

“Pack your  bags” They hear the  prophetic command.

“ For  where God?” they ask meekly.

“ Follow us  ,  there is enough work for you up there” And zoop they  vanish in the tail of long heavenly  cavalcade   of  the Gods , forever away  from the planet.


And the world  lived  in  peace and  tranquility thereafter.


Written by-

Mohinder pal Singh, PhD and author of  book 31 December 2078

Light Relationships-A New Acceptable Normal

Light Relationships- A  New  Acceptable Normal

By  –  Mohinder Pal Singhrelationship-counselling

When  we  talk  of relationships  of yester years  we  generally  come up with metaphors  of intense friendship where the  partners   were  ready  to sacrifice  everything at  their disposal, at  times  even their  life. Some  such  relations were  nipped in  the  bud  due to  family or  society  pressures,  some  ended in mutual compromises. Those  which  survived  the  societal storms  became  legends and  were  represented  in many  folk tales  and folk songs in almost all  Indian  languages. The  west too  had its  own  examples  in  almost every culture  which  also depicted   similar  intensity in  relationships.  A number of Hollywood and  Bollywood  movies  of  the  decades of  60s and 70s depicted  such examples  of intense love and  sacrifice where the  audiences  too got swayed  in emotions and such  movies  became  big hits. The name of Bollywood  blockbluster  MughaleAzam  created  a  niche in this segment.  Shakesphere’s   famous  play ‘Romeo and Juliet’  also typified one such  relationship.  The  fact of the  matter  is  that the society never  accepted most of such  relationships for  reasons best  known  to them.

Times have  changed from then and  now. Living in  an era of  amalgamation  of real and  virtual world there is  another  flavor  of  relationships which  is  emerging  at  lightning  speed ,  breaking the  barriers of  age , gender, caste, colour ,  borders  and these are  what  I  call  ‘light  relationships’.  The  copious  growth of  social media in  the last  decade has  been the prime   catalyst in developing the  same.  Today a person  is seldom content with  one intense relationship and is  adding  light  friendships with people everyday  across  the  society  and  across the  borders.  Surprisingly more people are  opening  their heart  to people they hardly know  or having never  met in person . Inhibitions  seem to  be  denuding ,  gender biases  dissipating and people of opposite genders  are  finding common interests and supporting each other more than ever before.  Social media  platforms  are  increasingly giving  secrecy options to those  who wish,   which many are  actually exercising.  Every person  is  engaging in having light friendships with  a large number of friends be  it children, young adults or  grown ups. The  circle of  friends  of  every person  has  grown into multiples  of hundreds. Those into well established  marital  bonds  too  are no longer inhibited  and flowing with the new formed and accepted   norm in the  society. Various  categories of  light friendships which are frequently   being  seen  are  , professional friends, office  friends, old classmates,  common  interest friends, tour  friends, hobby based  friends,  spiritual circle  friends and  such  categories are endless. Everyone  seems  to be  engulfed in maintaining such light relationships and drawing  wanted pleasures  in their lives. The smart phone  which has  become the custodian of such  secrets  are generally  kept  well quarantined from parents ,  siblings, children and even from  spouses.

However  all is  not honky dory  in  such  light  relationships. Many a  time the  secrecy  barriers  get  hacked  and  then  there  is  hell to  pay  in the  lives. Inspite of that   the trend is not  getting bearish at  all.  Verily or rather candidly speaking light  relationships  have  actually taken  the form of ‘light  flirts’ and  everyone  seems to be  enjoying it.  For  examples commenting on  a  picture  posted  as dp of status is considered  ‘cool’ as  long  as the  contents are  not hostile or not over-indulging. People are  pretty open  about  posting  their  recent picture updates/ status  and  open to  all  types of comments. Gone are the days when people were scared to  share their personal photos on the internet for the danger of being misused.

As this  trend caught the fancy of  most of the netizens some  unwritten  rules also  evolved which  many follow sincerely. First rule is rule of  space. As per this rule  one  has to accept the other  person’s personal space and  not demand  a  higher pie in it if he is not keen  to  give it. Over indulgence in each other’s affairs may actually bring such a light relationship it to a premature end. Rule  two,  keep it  light. Those  persons who are  already in  serious  relationships or marriage do  not  wish to indulge in  a parallel serious affair unless  the first one is turning sour. They generally would only  continue in it  till they are  assured that the relationship is  actually just a light  friendship. Rule three is mutual trust. This actually  is  a  must  though it  develops  slowly and over a period of time .  Rule  four is compatibility. Any  light relationships  can only  flourish if   both the partners  have  some common interests and  compatibility. Last but not the least  is the rule of relevance. It is  very important that  the each person is relevant to each other in life.  The day  one person becomes irrelevant,  this relationships   just  crumbles.

The  light relationships  are  now  here to  stay  and  likely to   grow at a faster pace than ever before. Only caution the partners must exercise is the realization that  these relationships are  tenuous and  must  be nurtured carefully. Then and only  then will they yield you  peace  of mind and enjoyment. If you are  harsh, callous  or stiff  you  may lose  them instantly. Or get blocked  forever.



Dr Mohinder Pal Singh is an author.  He resides in Greater Noida, India.

The Day I was made a Landmark

images (11)It was just another day when the arrival area and the pick up point at the Terminal 1 D of IGI Airport was crowded and chaotic. Everyone was trying to book a Ola or Uber or busy giving directions while a continuous flow of cabs kept jamming the place. Some cabs were blocking the way by being awkwardly parked, some whose customers had not arrived yet, and some cab drivers were frantically waving at their customers trying to catch their attention.
A crowd of over 100 people with 40 or 50 mostly identical White cars parked haphazardly at 1 am , made the traffic so unmethodical that   the entry gates  were  almost chocked.

Standing amidst this chaos, I was deperately trying my hands at the newly downloaded Uber app on my mobile.
Suddenly , I heard a voice from behind , someone was talking on his mobile,         “Sardarji ke pass aa jao” (come near the Sikh gentleman). It was a very typical South Indian accent.
I did not bother to even look back, thinking he must be in some private conversation with someone.
In the meantime, as my cab was about to dock , I moved a few steps away trying to locate the white Hyundai Accent among the sea of cars,
I heard the similar voice again and  now he was saying, “Sardarji thoda age move Kar Gaye Hain isliye age aana.”( The Sikh gentleman has moved little ahead so come little ahead)
And then again , ” Are main keh raha hun Sardarji move Kar Gaye Hain.”

My ears now got alerted and focused at the sound and directed my brain to investigate pronto as it now  seemed that , the Sardar ji in the stranger’s conversation was me!!  I turned around angrily and found a pot bellied middle aged man moving surruptiously behind me ,as if shadowing me. He was now standing as one metre away looking the other side.  If anyone has been to the IGI airport recently the Private car pick up point at terminal 1 D is very dimly lit and one could not make out the features of this person. . For a minute I was worried, was I being followed? My mind quickly ran through the itinary of the day. Had  I broken any rule for which  I could be nabbed ? Nothing of the sort came to my mind. Neither was I carrying any valuables which could invite my kidnapping…
As I gave him a disgusting   side glance, he was oblivious of it and had now begun to lose his temper at the lost cab driver, and finally shouted into his mobile.
” Jaldi ayo nhi to Sardarji chale jaenge, fir kaise pahchano ge ki main Kahan khada hun.” (Come fast otherwise the Sikh gentleman will go away and then how will you recognize me?)
It was then I realised , I was neither being shadowed, nor going to be kidnapped but was simply being used as a Landmark to direct his driver to identify him.
I suddenly felt pity on the simplicity of this man.
But i also felt happy that inadvertantly my unique appearance was of help to this stranger in this maddening city.
Amidst these thoughts my cab driver called and announced his arrival.
But I waited quietly for his cab to arrive and when he sat in it, I moved towards mine.
Seldom does one get a chance to help a stranger , and I could not let it go away.

From Battle-field to Business-Field

The journey of a soldier from a battlefield to the business-field

Power of Acceptance


Acceptance, I  feel is not only the  most  misunderstood  word in English  language but also  the most  misunderstood personality trait. It is generally   construed to depict  personal  weakness,  lack of strength or even a  defeatist nature.  It  is also understood to indirectly denote a tendency of  subjugation . A   person who  doesn’t  have  the  will  to fight it out or  just accept  the   hardships  as they come in life  is known to be   showing  lack of  motivation and kinesis. For  example a person who meekly accepts an order is  seen as a weak person. In normal parlance  personality trait of  ‘Acceptance’ is  seen akin to  status  quo , and a  person displaying it in a state of  inertia.

But the  truth  is far  from it .

When seen  from  the  lens of achieving  happiness in life  , its  meaning is becomes totally    opposite of  its oft understood  derivative. Acceptance actually denotes  tremendous inner strength and grit. Lets  understand the ‘how’ of  it. If I say that  most of  us when asked what is the aim of life  come out with  an instant answer  and that is ‘happiness’. In the subsequent paragraphs you will  see  how the power of  Acceptance   leads us to  a state of  ‘happiness,  which otherwise is  so elusive  to  all of  us.

Its  a fact the  there are plethora of things around us and in our  personal lives which  are  not to our liking. But Everything we cannot change. The preachers of ‘ perennial positivity paradigm’ insist that everyone  can  change everything  by their inner strength. I wish this could be  true all  the  time.  Then  there would be  no  diseases ,  no disabilities , no unhappiness  etc as  everything  would have soon converted  to  disease-free, disability-free  happy  world. But it is not so. That means  that there is a gap between  what is  claimed and what is actual.  It  also  means  that those who in  the first  place  accept  the condition they are in,   require  much more  physical  and  mental strength and not  the  mere positivlty to  come out of it.

Today most of  us  are  in a state of ‘unhappiness’ which is primarily due  to our  unsatiated  needs. And fulfillment of  needs  is  like an oasis in  a desert, when you  reach  one it turms out to be  a mirage and fades into oblivion and another one  appears at  a distance , and  you begin to rush towards  it to quench  your thirst. And  thus  the unsatiated belly makes us   revolve  in  a perpetual circle of unhappiness. On the other hand when  a person accepts something and does not crave  to  change it instantly , it  gives  him tremendous  strength of spirit to  bear the deficiency. As  a parent  who have  a child born  with a congenital conditions or deformities require tremendous strength of the  soul to accept it as a  fate  and come out of the   ‘why me’ condition. Similarly acceptance of  accidents in life leading  to  disabilities of  an otherwise  healthy person require tremendous strength too .

So,  finally  what is the  mantra of happiness through  the route of acceptance? It is an  ongoing  battle  between …

changing your fate Vs  accepting  your  fate. ….

Who is  the winner  of this  ongoing  duet war,  is the moot  question. In the answer to the question posed above,  lies the  subtle secret to the  achieve  happiness. The answer is contained in the two situations described below.

Situation one, if  you  begun to fight your fate and  finally  end up facing disappointments then there is  dual unhappiness  in life. One for the  negativity of the fate  and second the unsuccessful battle  which you  ensued with it trying to change it. Such people live unhappily thereafter.

Situation  two, if  on the outset  you  accept the fate  , you  tend to find  happiness  in life inspite  of  your  disability. After  sometime if  you strive  to come  out of it, and if you succeed, its  a win-win situation and if you lose, you don’t  become  unhappy as  you  have  already  reconciled  to your  fate and found happiness  therein  too.

In  the end I  would  simply suffice to  say that Power  of Acceptance remains  the ultimate power to achieve long term happiness in life.

A letter to the Indian News Channels

Dear Indian News Channels,
Good evening…
After a long day in office I sit in front of you to know what is happening in the country and the world.
But where is the NEWS??
I am thoroughly disappointed with you… you do not update me with the news but only waste my time on debates. Watching these debates with participants trying to out-shout each other and the anchor’s instead of quelling the tempers indulging in competing in the decibels.. Sadly this results only in wastage of my crucial time and nothing more.
I feel the 9 pm news on Al India Radio of the yester years covered much more in 15 minutes then you do in whole 24 hours…
Its high time that you realise that the viewers of today are keen on knowing whats happening in the country and in the world not what you want to tell me and hide from me.
Its high time you mend your ways or else i will flip  the  channels and start watching the soaps. Because as it your news debates are akin to the heated arguments dramatised in many serials i.e only rhetoric no substance.
I implore you to just ‘do your job’ and i must remind you that, your job is show us the news and we will make our own analysis. Don’t try and create unnecessary controversies where there are none and do not try and influence our thoughts.
Come on.. we can think….An average Indian is not so dumb as probably you think.
Give us a break… News channels..
Its high time you change your style or i will change my watching style…and shun you once and for all.
Yours Truely…
An ardent news watcher