Different People , Different Strokes

17334187656857Different People,  Different Strokes

Its  never easy  to make  people  follow  you. By nature  man  is  greedy  and  this  instinct  we  carried  from  our  bovine  ancestors. People  follow  you  for  greed  and  nothing  else. The  greed  could  be  of  many  kinds- money ,  power  ,  survival or  amusement.   To have a beeline of followers   you got  to  be  Rich,  powerful ,  benefactor  or an  actor. Secondly , you  got  to  do  something different  for  people  to  be  interested   in   knowing  you or  following you.

Everyone wants  that  he  should  have  followers. Followers  also  want to  have  followers.  The  seniors  in  any  organisation  want  the juniors  to follow them. Blindly. But  this does  not  happen always.

But  history is  replete  with  examples  that  very seldom    people follow  those  who  walk   on  the  beaten  track .

So  the  first  Rule  is  –   if  you  wish  to  have  followers – Do  not  walk  on  a  beaten  Track.

Beat   a  new  track. And  openly face  the  hardships  in  the  new  track you create because  any new  track is generally  replete  with new challenges and  obstacles which you have to  tackle.

As time passes by and you done’t give up…….the path  which  was  initially  laden with impediments now  becomes  familiar  and  the  hurdles  which  seemed  insurmountable now  seem  easy.

Slowly  as  you  move  ahead  you  will find  ppl  following  you grow  in  number. Remember, all  are  not  your  friends. Some  are following you simply out of   intrigue. Intrigue    to  see  of  you perish  or   survive  this  barbaric  decision  of yours.  Once when  they   see  you  tackling  the  obstacles,   some may   even silently withdraw.

However ,Seeing  you  succeed and move  ahead  newer  people   start  to  follow  you and    see  how  far  you  can   go.  These  are  not  people  who  had  the  intrigue  but  the   ones  who   wish  to  profit  from  your  discovery. Good luck with them.

One  seldom reaches  his  ambition in life  with  the  set  of  people he  started  the  journey  with. Hence, learn to work with all-friends, foes, competitors and  subordinates.


The First Love


Recently while  sitting with  my  senior professor in the department over a   tete-e-tete the  discussion rolled over  to  the environment  of freeness prevailing in  colleges and  universities these days. The senior professor suddenly  became nostalgic,  kept looking  on  the  wall for sometime  and  said in  a  thick grumpy voice  which had  a speck of  a  regret in it, “I too  used to like a girl in my  college  days  and  could  never  stay  without  having a glimpse of  her everyday.” As  my eyes became  agog at the candid confession @60,  a  memory  not less then 40 years  old , he  avoided looking at me and  continued  looking  at  a  spot on the   blank wall  where  probably  he was seeing a image of her.

“she was my  first love and the last one too”. He said in a low romantic tone and a tiny smile  broke  at his lips.

“ Sir  did you confess your  feelings to  her ?” I  asked giving  a real  worried and concerned  look on my face.

“Obviously  not , in our times  we never  had the  courage  to go in  for  such things. And  even if I had,  I knew the answer  would have  not  only been a ‘No’  but it could  have  resulted  in a  complaint against me  and  a probable rustication from  the  college  itself.   I could not afford  to  taking such  a risk”. He muttered  closing his eyes.  “And Sudhir,   She  was  so  beautiful and  I was  so ugly at  that  time, there was  no chance of getting  an affirmative  answer”

Hearing  this  I could not  resist to let  Sir  not vent  out  his  long suppressed  feelings which  probably  he  had  kept hidden for decades. “ Sir, you know where she  is  now?” I asked .  “ Yes” He nodded. “ Why not say it  now, Sir?” I  pushed a  bit  further.

He took  a deep  breath, looked  at  the  same  spot  on the wall   , then  looked out of the  window at the  budding autumn leaves  on the branches of a  tree which  were  falling on the window of the  Head of  the  Department office. He  closed his  eyes and  said, “No. its too late now Sudhir”.

“Sir,  You  did not speak  to her at  that  time for fear of rejection? Isn’t  it?” I asked.

“Obviously Yes” He said

“Sir,  do you see her often nowdays”I  asked .

“ Not really,  she  is married  in another town  but  has  recently shifted  back to  Ambala after her father’s  demise to stay with  her ailing  mother.” He  was now opening his inner feeling to me.

Though  I  was much younger to  Shukla Sir I too  had  been teaching in the same department  for last  10  years . Me and Shulka  sir  shared a  good friendship and had  common views  on a  number of topics. Sir  had  taught  me  during my MA studies when  he  was  a young  lecturer  in the same department of the  university. As  students we  always found  him to  be  a  smart  teacher  ,  not  ugly at  all  what  he thought of himself  today. He was also  astoundingly  intelligent  and  knowledgeable about his  subject , Economics. Even today  his tall  and  lanky figure  would  be  a  matter of  envy  for  a  large  number of  people  who  are  in his  age bracket. He  even  partially  dyes his hair of  the otherwise receding hairline. He  ensures he  presents  a  smart  demeanor but at the  same  time displays  the  grace  of  his age  in  his day to day dealings with everyone. He is  married to an equally graceful lady.

“ Sir, when did  you see her last” I asked.

“ last week” He responded.

“ Sir, is she as  beautiful  as she  used  to  be in college?” I  asked.

“Come on Sudhir, obviously not,  with age beauty wanes, grace  stays” He  said.

“Sir with age ugliness  also  goes and grace  comes to those  who  are  sincere,  you are  one of  them. You look smart  , rather  very smart for your age and exceedingly handsome and graceful. You are  now  evenly placed. Go ahead tell her your feelings” I  said.

“ How can I say It now? I am married  with grown up kids and your bhabhi has  been  so nice  to me all my life. No,  I cant  do this. It will be a  sin.” He retorted back .

“But you  will  keep remembering  her all the time, is that not a sin?” I  said sounding  adamant now.

“ Sir what I  am  telling  you do is not going to be a sin.”I  said.

He looked  at me but  kept quiet.

“ I too want  to confess  something to you today” I said  looking  at his expectant  eyes.

“Really? You too had a first love”? He said

“ Sir,  everyone  in his life has  a  ‘first  love’ , what  varies is  the intensity with  which  a  person loved  his ‘first love’ . If that  intensity is  high like in your  case  the  feelings  linger on for a lifetime, in others is  just  wanes  down with time. But  that’s  not  what I am going to share with you  today  , What I am going  to share with you  is different. I  had been  a ‘first love’ of someone”. Saying this I suddenly stopped and looked at him.

“ What ?” and you knew about  it”? he said  with eyes  wide open. “

“ No Sir  , I never knew about it. I  knew  her as a friends in the neighbourhood  in my  teens  and  college days  but  never had  any feelings  for her. Both  families  knew  each  other  well and we  used to  meet  like  normal  friends in groups  during  social functions in the coloney. After I got my  job here I  moved out and she  too got married after  a couple of  years.  But there  was  no such  feeling of love and all   ever  from my side.” I said

“ Then  how do you know  you were  her ‘first love’?. He  asked little irascibly.

“ Sir , it  has  been 20 years  and  she  also is well settled  with  grown up kids. Last  year  she  had  come to  our  town on  some family business work and called me up for some help. She  was  staying in  a good hotel here. I  went  to  help her  and  over  a cup of tea  she  became  very serious. I asked  her, “Ruby what happened , you are  in entangled in what thoughts”.

She  said ‘nothing’ but  left  suddenly   after  saying  that she  had to  catch up  with some work   with her business  clients. I  returned  home rather surprised at her behavior.

Shukla Sir was listening  to  me rather attentively now.

“What  happened then?” He asked.

I  got a  call at 10pm that night from her. Worriedly  I picked  up  the  call hoping  all  was  well with  her as she  was  staying all alone in a hotel.

“I want to  talk to  you ,  are you  free now?”She asked

“ Yes,  but you never talked  in the morning  when we met,  what is it?” I  asked.

“ I did not have  the  courage  to  talk  to  you face to  face , that’s why I moved out for my work leaving the tea halfway”. She  said in a  low voice.

“ Tell me now,  what is  it that  you wish to talk to me?” I asked.

“Did  you love me when you were  studying  in college”? She suddenly asked and my heart  missed  a  beat  at this question.

I became  numb.

I did not know  what  to answer. I had  never  loved  her in  a way  she  was asking. I actually  never  even  had  thought of her like that. Infact  we  were not  even best  of friends  . So this question  was  so much of a shock. She was  such  a graceful lady now, mother  of two  teenage  children and  with  a smart husband who had a  big family business in Delhi.

“ I am waiting  for an answer Sudhir, Please answer me ,  you  loved me, right ? but could  not  get  a chance  to  say  it, isn’t it?” She  asked  with  a  voice which was  intense  and  sweet.

“ Ruby, where  are  you right now?, how  was  your  day?” I said.,   trying to avoid  the  answer but concurrently  my  mind was working overtime  to select  the apt words to use if I am cornered  for an answer.

“ Sudhir, I  want to know sincerely. Answer me.” she said.

“ What should I say?…….look we  booth are happily married……..why are you asking this  question  after such  a long  time?” I said trying some cryptic logic to avoid giving  a direct answer.

“ No, I  insist” She  said.

“ Ok  if you  insist, the answer is ‘No’.  But  Ruby  why are you  asking  such  a question….Look  we  are grown up  people now.” I  said.

There  was  a silence  on the other end now. Then she  spoke.

“ There  was not even an iota of feeling of love for me Sudhir, please tell me?” She said   pleadingly.

“Ruby  please don’t misunderstand me, I was too busy in my  studies in college and then immediately after  college I got the  job, I did not have time for  feelings for anyone. But  please  tell me why  this eruption after twenty years?” I said.

“ Because  you were  my first and last love and I always believed you loved me too.” She  whispered  amidst  sobbing.

We both  were  quiet for a while for she  had shocked me and I too had let  her down.

“Ruby please ,  how  would I know that you loved me? Did you ever say it?” I  said  trying to defend my case.

“ Sudhir in our times how could  girls  say such  a thing? you  should have  sensed it yourself.” she said, amidst  intense sobbing.

“ You  can say it today if  you want?” she said.

She was really insistant now and I  could  realise the  intensity  of  love in her voice. But I  was  also  helpless as I could  not say such  a blatent lie at any cost. Let the tears roll but  I will not confess  what was not the truth. Love is  from  the  heart it can’t be pretended even in retrospect.

“ No,  that shall not happen.” I  said.

“ Ruby please  relax,  life  for both of  us has  moved  fine. Lets live  the  way it  is.”  I  said.

Sir, Soon  after  that  she  hung up. I  am  sure she  did not sleep that  night.  I too kept awake for a long time and kept thinking of  the old times but could  not connect any incident  where she  had  displayed  any  special feelings or  may be  I   never  bothered to note. Anyway life  had moved on.

Sir  was listening  attentively to  my  confession.

“ What happened  after that? He asked after a  pause.

“ Sir, she called  up next day in the morning.” I said

“ What ? she  did?  I thought  she  would  never ever   speak  to you after  your rude reply.” he  asked

“ Yes  sir, she  did. You can’t forget your first love so  easily, isn’t it?. I  replied.


Next day morning, I  waited for  a minute before I picked up her call. Her  voice was  mellow now.

“ Sudhir, If  time  was to go back,  would you still not love  me?” She asked .

“Ruby  time does  not go back. Lets  live in present.” I answered.

“ But why  can’t  we  think and  take our  minds back?” she  insisted.

“ Look  Ruby my answer  would  still be same”. I  said as I wanted to finally prevail and leave no more misunderstandings.

This time she  did not cry.

“  OK, can we  be friends?” she  asked.

“ on one  condition.” I said.

She  was  shocked but asked  “What  condition?…… That  I  should never call you again? …..Then how will we  remain  friends?” saying this she  laughed  now.

“ I am happy  to  hear you laugh . The condition is that you  will bury the  past and  not mention it again. Ever. Promise?” I insisted on an answer and a promise now.

“ Yes,  I promise.” She  said happily.

After this it was my turn to surprise her.

“ I  too want to confess  something to you.” I  said.

To  which  there  was  a  sound of a deep  breath  which  I  could even   hear  on the mobile.

“What do you want to confess?” she  asked  softly. May be  she  was  expecting  the unexpected confession from me. May be the actual  story would  turn out to  be  a Hindi  movie  climax. But it was  not.

“I  am totally  floored by  your  boldness of  saying this so candidly…….  confessing this after 20  years. And inspite of  having  such  a successful  marriage  and  still taking the  risk of saying this  to  another  person. It requires guts…..hats off  to  you.” I said.

“ Sudhir  ,  you know  something , a  big burden has got off my head and heart today. I am feeling very light. I  feel  I  may have  lost  a  lover  but  I have  regained  a friend” She  said confidently.

“ Indeed you have” . I said  with  a feeling of  triumph of truth over  a lie.Had I lied  under duress I  would have  been in  a  burden throughout rest of my life.

Sir, after that  me and Ruby   have  become    good friends. At times  I even take  some piece of advice from her on important issues and  so does she. There is  no mention of ‘love’ or ‘no love’ any more,  we  are both  living  peaceful lives and knowing well our responsibilities and boundaries.

But  somewhere  within  me  this incident brought   a nice  feeling  that I  was  also loved. Thats it. I did not  get  angry at  her  saying it to me. I  rather felt happy that I  lessened her burden.

“ Sir, why I shared  this very intimate  part of  my life with  you  is to help  you go ahead and lighten your burden”.  I  said ,  looking at  my Head of Department who had  again started  staring blankly at his pet  spot on the wall.

“ I  will not be  able to do it I feel.” He  said somberly.

“ Sir  it will  make you feel  light and believe  me  she will  appreciate it   too. After  all  you look  much smarter  than ever  before.” I said in a light tone but that  did  not change his deep-in-thought expression.

“Hmm…….. I will think about it. Thanks for sharing  your  experience. Bye”. He said in voice  which meant I should leave him alone..

Weeks passed  and Shukla Sir  avoided  meeting me and  stayed  very  serious  in the Department in a world of his own. I too did not bother him.

Then one day  suddenly I  got  a  message  to  reach his office. Seeing me he said , “Thanks  , I am feeling much  lighter today.” the  smile on his face showed that he had succeded.



Friends For Life

Friends  for  Life

  • Mohinder Pal Singh

Every  now  and  then all  of  us  meet  some    strangers .  With  some  we  exchanges  glances  ,  with  others   some  words  and  with  some  we becomes  friends. No one  is  born  with a  bunch of  friends. We  are  born only  with  our  parents.   All  friends  come  into our lives   first as  strangers , and  then  out  of them  some stay  with  us  as  friends   while   others  depart . The  journey from  strangers  to friendship depends  on  some  pre-requisites.  The first  one   by  its  presence  and  the  other  by  its  absence. The first,  is   the  presence  of  the  feeling  called  mutual.  Everything  in  friendship is  supposed to  be  mutual; be  it  respect,  love,  understanding or   genuine feelings. Nothing  can  be  one-way on the road of friendship.  The  second  is  important by  its  complete  absence  and  i.e   hatred.  This  absence  also  has  to  be in both and  not  one. If  it  is  present  even  in  one  person  it  will  not  let  the bond  nurture. For  a  good  bond of  friendship to  germinate  the  strong  presence  of  the  first  and  the complete  absence  of  the  second  in  both is  a  must.  Some  other  good  or  bad   feeling like  jealously,  competition  can  co-exist  in miniscule  quality without doing much harm .  The  bond of  friendship  can  withstand  them  to  a  great  extent. It  will be  surprising to  note that  the  gender, age , caste, religion, colour  play   so  little  role  in  this  process. Some even  say  that  the  opposites  attract but  that  too  cannot  be  postulated  because sometime  similar  also attract.  No  theory  of  science ,  art  or  psychology  has  ever  been  able  to  explain  the  nuances  of  this relation clearly. The  how  and  why people  becomes  friends  still  remains  an  inexplicable  mystery. Only  one  thing  seems clear and that is it  all  stems  from  the mind   and  thoughts.

An   indelible   truth of  the  life  is that  all friends  were  strangers  one  day.  But   all strangers  do  not  become  friends,  is  also  true. When two strangers  meet for  the  first  time  , something  wriggles in them, something  kindles, some neurons  snap and some  signals  mingle , only then  begins  the  process. If  the  signals  are  present  only in  one  person the  process  of  bonding  will  not  commence  effectively because  the  first   condition  is  not be  met. Once  initiated  , the  process of  friendship goes  through  some subtle and   overlapping phases. The first  phase is  the  introductory  phase  , where  the  strangers  develop  an innate urge to  know  each other. This may be  in  a  kind  of simple  hand-shake  in college, a  party or  in  a  meeting. The  introductory  phase may  last from a  few  seconds to a few  days. It  may  involve  some  verbal  introductions  about  each  other or  may  be  just  a glance. Once the  vibe  sets  in  and  the conditions  listed  above  seem  in place the  process starts. Closely  following this  phase  , is  the  second phase  called  the  Inquisitive  phase. After  a   brief  introductory phase  heralds into  curiosity and    you  wish  to  know  more  about the  person  (  if  you  do  not  know  it  earlier). Even  if  you  know  it  earlier  ,  anybody  will  like  to  be  in  verbal  communication . Inquisitiveness  includes  knowing  about   his/her  habits,  nature , likes and dislikes. This  phase lasts  for  a  much longer  duration.  This  is  followed  by  the  third phase called, Sharing  phase.  Having known    a person for  some  time  you develop  some  faith  and  you   feel  like  sharing  things. This  may mean sharing  some  of  your  not  so  important  secrets  or  even  physical  things  like  giving  small  gifts etc. This  is  followed  by the  fourth  phase  called  the  Test  Phase.   The  road  from  being strangers  to good  friends is  not  surfeit  with rosy petals  all  along. There  are  rough  and  muddy  patches  enroute  which  need  to  be crossed  . At  times  true  friends  can  be  harsh and  rude  too. The  Test phase comes  in when  misunderstandings , personal biases creep in. This  needs  maturity in understanding  and   handling the  feelings  of  a person. The last phase of  friendship  is the   Move –on  phase.   Once  the  bacon of  the friendship  has  been  baked  properly  under the  phases   then  it  can withstand  the  vagaries  of  life and  nature  for  a  life  time.  No  amount  of  time-gaps, silences  and    devilism can  sever  such strong  emotional bonds.

This  article  will  be  incomplete  if I  do not mention  friendship in today’s fast-moving-life  context. Friendship  in today’s  context  is  like  a  continuum,  it  is fast moving, it  has  to  remain dynamic,  it is  for  a  purpose. It  is like  a  tiny  electron which  is  always  in excited  state, always  in  motion. Due  to  24X7  communication  channels, you   can  be  always  be  in  touch with  each other.  Extend  help  and  seek  help continuously. Another  very  important  feature  of  friendship  in  the present context is  the  large  number  of  strangers   to  choose  from.  When  you have  too  large a  number to  handle  the  depth decreases. In earlier days communication was  slow  and friendship  was  more  grave  and personified. Today  it  is  not. Friendships too  have  become like  a  FMCG( fast –moving  -consumer-goods)commodity . Even  after  going  through   the    arduous  phases of  friend-development one  does  not  wink once  before  giving  up  with someone and picking  up  another. Speedy communications have tremendously microscoped  even  the phases  of  friendship-development.

So  in order  to  keep  your  friendships  in  order and  long  lasting  what  needs to be  done?

It is  simple. Firstly, take  friends  seriously because  good  friends  are  a  gift  for life. If  you  have  friends  maintain your  link.  Once  you  make  a  friend stay  in touch, it is  easy to  do  so nowdays. Second, easy communication  also has   a  serious  negative  effect of  breeding misunderstandings. Simply  guard against it. Thirdly, come  what may ,nobody  likes  un-asked  criticism on  anything. So hold your  nerves  even  if you  don’t  like  some  unruly   actions of  your  friends ,  he  may have  his  own  reasons  or  compulsions. Lastly  always try to   be    a  motivating  factor. Everyone needs  it. And when  it  comes  from  a  friend it  has  a  very  soothing  effect.

Last  but  not  the  least , If  you  have one, don’t  loose  him/her…….


Positive Thinking lessons by my 10 year old daughter before my Angiography

It  was  first week of  July 2013,  while doing my daily evening 5 km jog I felt  a  little  pain in  my  chest. I  stopped jogging  , walked  back home. After  reaching home and  sitting down  for sometime the pain automatically  subsided. Though I was a bit  worried initially but  soon  became normal  thinking  it must  be due  to some  gastric instability. The next day I  again ventured for my jog trying to keep the thoughts of yesterday’s  pain away,  but they kept  coming and i  kept jogging… but  suddenly  after  about  4 km,  the  same pain  at  the  same  place in  the  chest commenced its knock. I  was  a bit alarmed. I Changed  my jog to slow  walking and  took  a  short  route home. Came  and  sat down on  my  sofa, had two glasses  of water and  within 10 minutes the  pain  vanished. The next day and day after that I  insisted on going for my  jogs and the  pain insisted on  coming  back at  the  same  intervals.  In  the  end, on  continued insistence of  my wife and  kids I  visited  a friend cardiologist in the city of Allahabad. On asking my age ,  he said,” at 44 I  can’t take chances  with your heart  and you have to undergo some mandatory tests. All my pleading of , ‘otherwise i  am fit and fine’ went  in vain and next day itself  I underwent Treadmill  test  to which my  doctor  said he is sensing  some bit of aberrations . He immediately referred me to a Multi-speciality hospital  in Lucknow and put me on  5 tablets  a  day till the time  I could  take  leave and get my further tests  done  by a heart  specialist.

From  being a punctual fitness freak i was  catapulted into a sick man overnight.  My mood obviously   became sombre and  seeing me in this state my wife too  got worried. A  day before I  was to  leave  for Lucknow, my 10 year  , always  bubbly daughter  came and sat  next to  the bed  where  I  was lying down , trying to  sleep which was continously evading me. I  was  almost in a state where I  was  thinking that ,  will this be the last  night in my room, will I  come back  hale  and hearty? what if I  don’t  reach  Lucknow  also? Such  negative  thoughts  were  permeating  unobtrusively when I was  alone even for a minute. I  was  trying to  fight my negative  thoughts  with  all my  positive energy  at my  disposal which seemed to be slowly waning. Suddenly at around  11 pm my 10 year  daughter came into the room,  seeing me awake she  said, ” papa , You have  a train to  Lucknow at  7 am and  you  are  still  awake?” I  answered , “Yes my Child,  I am unable to  sleep,  but don’t  worry I am fine”. Hearing this  she sat  down on the chair next  to  the bed.

The  video  which i am going to  show  you all was  just unintutively recorded by me while my daughter was talking to me that  night. (  i would request  the  readers to  just see this  29 second  clip before going  back to the story- someone rightly  said child is the  father of  man).

Next  day  I boarded the train with a friend who  was accompanying  me for the trip. I must have  seen the  video  at least  three  times on my mobile  during the train journey and  everytime seeing  my daughter  giving me lessons a smile would erupt on my face. I  slowly started feeling that  I  have no problem and I would  be back with NAD( a medical term- No Abnormality Detected).

The short  journey of 5 hours soon ended and I was  admitted in the big Multi-speciality hospital. Next day  a  very  experienced  Cardiologist  examined me  and also conducted some tests like  echo, dopplers and TMT. In  the end he  opined that  there is some doubt of a mild blockage and  he  would like to put me through  angiography tomorrow morning. I  was  a bit demoralised at this  opinion. I came back to my hospital bed. My  friend Rahul  was there with me. He said, “Sir  dont worry you will be fine.” and then  we talked for a while  and watched some programme  on TV. The  ward  had two more patients  who  had undergone  angiography and  angioplasty a day prior and they were  sharing  their experiences. But heart of hearts I did not want to have  a stent in my heart at  44 years of  age.   I  wanted to  still go on  my morning and evening runs and play basketball – my favourite game,  which will  certainly not be permitted after an  angioplasty.

In the  evening  the  nurse  came to  give  a  dozen  medicine tablets. She was  very polite  and  told  me to be ready by  8 am as I would  be the  first one for the operation. She  assured  me that  I was in  the hands of  the best doctor in this field who  has a speckless  record of  doing these procedures. Amidst the  whirlwind of thoughts in my  mind  the assurances  of the nurse were  ineffective to pep me up. She made me pop some  half  a  dozen tablets which most likely included  a  relaxant because soon after  she left  i slept off.

I  was awakened at 6 am in the morning  with some more tablets to  control the BP  etc. Soon afterwards my  friend came to help  me  get  ready. Just  before I  left my  room I took the mobile in my hand opened the video of my cute daughter  and listened  to it again. I smiled ,  handed over the phone to Rahul and walked into the Cath Lab.

The whole procedure was  conducted  while I  was wide wake and Dr Goel was  talking to  me. After  10 minutes  his talk became  very light and we were laughing. He told me there  is no  blockage anywhere. I could not believe my ears ,  I  asked him again while still lying down on the operation table, Sir ” are  you  sure”. He said “yes, i have checked all the  channels of heart and everything seems perfect.” Go back and enjoy life.

I was  rolled  out of  the  cath lab.

He took my case sheet and wrote:-


Stop  all medicines.

(It has  been  5 years  since I underwent this procedure, was suddenly reminded of this incident today when  i was doing  my evening jog and thought of penning it down  for posterity)

**Thanks for reading . DO leave your comments on my blog to encourage me to keep sharing my experiences of life  and  on the  you tube channel to encourage  Jasnoor whose simplified  positive thinking  tips gave me a  new life).

Is Whatsapp hijacking Our Lives?

IMG-20170503-WA0012Is Whatsapp hijacking Our Lives?


Mohinder Pal Singh

Ever  since  whatsapp has  come into the lives of denizens ,irrespective of the age, gender, caste and religion it has  squeezed time from our already packed  schedules. Initially  it  came as  a tool which appeared  as  an alternate to the erstwhile SMS and slowly graduated  to communicating with friends intermittently. Slowly whatsapp inundated  us  with greeting  messages which  was  a welcome  change  from  sending high-priced  SMS just to wish  friends  ‘happy diwali’ or ‘happy new year’. Whatsapp features  made it all ‘free’. Due  to the simplicity of its use,  it left email and  other social networking sites or apps much  behind. Slowly from being  just  a  tool  to  text  messages  or pictoral  greetings it  graduated  to video messages, long  text  stories and  instant  news  items, which could  be circulated  across the world in  a click. A watershed  in the history of  whatsapp was the introduction of voice and  video call. The way Whatsapp had annihilated SMS, Whatsapp  voice  call  is on the  path of annihilating telephone calls.  With all these facilities on the click of a finger whatsapp has  entered  our lives ‘forever’ like a RBC cell in our blood without which  we  can’t live. Today  the whatsapp messages can be typified into – ‘information’ uploads, Sea of ‘gyan’, sensational news items, current affairs and developments, entertainment and  humour and not to miss out porn.

Every denizen on whatapp has  now  become  a  netizen. And every netizen is glued to whatsapp which includes multiple and overlapping activities like,   reading  individual text messages from friends  and acquaintances,  reading  text  messages in  groups, chatting with friends, discussions in  groups, reading  and  forwarding good messages, seeing videos, forwarding  videos, reading  links  and  forwarding links to others. And  all  this  takes  a huge amount of time. And just to get  an estimate  as to  how  much time is being  used up in doing all this I indulged , out of sheer  inquisitiveness  in a small net-based survey among some  friends and in some whatsapp groups. I  asked  four pointed questions,  how much time  do you spend in reading messages/videos, how much time do  you spend in forwarding texts/ videos,  how much time do you spend in  reading links and how much  time do you spend  in chatting  and  calling. The participants in the survey were in the   age group of  18 to 65 and included both  genders.  The  result of this survey  was shell  shocking  but I  was  prepared for the jolt.  On  an average  a person was spending a whooping 90-120 minutes  a day on this  app. Where did each person manage to cull out  this time   from  his already busy daily routine was the instant question which hit my head?

Varily speaking the implication of this neo-love, spreading pan india , pan world and pan generations is disastrous. Lets in brief analyse  how this enigma   has  effected  each one of us. For  a student sparing two hours on whatsapp means denuding two hours either from playtime or from studies and both are abysmally devastating in student life.  For an adult in a job with a family removing two hours from his busy schedule means either  denuding  time from  the  work  or from the family-time and both  are equally perilous things to do. For an old sparing  two  hours  means denuding himself from his  fixed  daily routine.

Actually ,  whatsapp is  not taking our time at  one  go. It is slowly  nibbling  time  from  our various essential activites. This  habit of  nibbling  away  chunks  of time from  our   personal time at home or from the  official time in office is keeping us afloat in a flux of distractions all  the  time. It is making  us  lose our focus from any activity we are  indulging in. Though for the bored and retired it could be a blessing in disguise.

However, for most of us, its  high time we  re-align ourself in our  lives, take stock of  the  time  available to  each one of us   and use  this social media  platform in a gainful manner and  not let it hijack our lives.

Nebulous Whatsapp Gyan

Nebulous Whatsapp Gyan.
The era of books to imbibe knowledge is fast fading away and its place is being surreptitiously taken in by none other then our friendly neighborhood app- Whatsapp.
Five years back no one could have imagined the proliferation prowess of this tiny android application and how it will revolutionize the text messaging service and subsequently introduce  even a computer illiterate person to image and video messaging. It has indeed topsy turvied our lives. On one hand it has opened new gates to a sea of knowledge but on the other hand it has nibbled into our own spare time which we would have otherwise used for our hobbies, meeting friends( physical meetings), playing games (outdoor) reading newspaper (physically) and reading books.
The maximum damage undoubtedly has been done to the habit of book reading. It has almost caused a premature demise of the habit of reading.
The all-in-one online gyan provides knowledge and information and alongside provides all type of entertainment depending on your taste buds.
A typical day of an avid Whatsapp user goes something like this:-
(a) period 6 am to 9 am – messages start with a ‘namaskar’ or good morning messages from individual friends or from groups. Most of these messages are stringed with ‘one line advice’ or wish as if you are surely going to win a jackpot or a billion dollar lottery today. …This is followed by some videos on yoga, fitness, how to get slim etc… ( personally I have tried all the recipes of slimming but to only end up with status quo).
(b) Period of online silence …. 9 am to 11am.
This is the period of ‘online silence’ as most of the members are busy in rushing to offices and sorting out the morning blues, homemakers are busy chidding their maids, children are off to school. so this is the time of reduced activity on whatsapp.
(c) Period of slow Activity…11am to 5pm. in this period there is exchange of some anecdotes however the inflow of posts is less.
(d) Period of hyper activity 5 pm to 11 pm…. At this time all members are active and fwd jokes videos pics, in groups also this period sees maximum Activity like heated discussions on controversial issues. Maximum gyan is distributed an imbibed during this period of  activity.
(e) Period of passionate texting 11 pm to 1 am. the last but the most passionate period is this. the serious Whatsapp lovers carry their mobiles to bed, turn the silent key on so that no one hears a sound then they are glued to the Whatsapp screens.

Most of  the  whatsapp gyan is nebulous because it is not imbibed but promptly forwarded for someone else to reap the benefit. And in the bargain no one actually  benefits. Such nebulous gyan stays in  your mobile folder  and  after  ten or twelve days when the  mobile runs out of  storage space one tends to delete the gyan-surfeit videos in a jiffy.

If  all  this  gyan was  really  imbibed  in  a  positive manner by now the world would have  become a pleasant place to live in.

Thanks for reading!!


Time to Unfriend some Friends

Today we have developed a tendency to increase the number of friends to a number where they become unwieldy to handle. Many in our huge friendship circle are only peripheral friends and cannot spare neither time nor effort to help us ,advice us, stand by usq when you are in need.
My definition of a friend is
-a person to whom you can
approach when you need help.
-A person whom you can approach to take some advice.
– A person who takes time to tell you if are doing anything wrong.
– A person who encourages you when you are on the right path.

If you have a friend who fulfills any of the above conditions is indeep worthy of a piece of your life.

But on the flip side I have seen majority of our so called friends fulfilling another set of rather ,not so condusive conditions:-
– They are indifferent in your success.
– They have very little time for you. they are hesitant in taking that little mile extra to help you.
– impolite at times or too blunt or impervious to your feeling.
– Critical in your failure.
And we out of sheer generosity are unable to severe ties with them. We keep thinking what will the other person think. But I feel there is no point in dragging such friendships for the sake of it. It’s better to do Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish(GRBR) and live in peace.

It’s better to have less friends then bad friends.